I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will be naked everywhere
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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