She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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