I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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