I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
