It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
