That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
