i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
