So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
