I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
