Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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