Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
