How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
