I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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