you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
