You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
