I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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