Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
