I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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