Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
