He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
