Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
