I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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