butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
