Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
