Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
