Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
