There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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