saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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