Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
