It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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