ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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