In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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