i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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