oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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