Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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