I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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