so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You were trust falling into bushes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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