why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Bring me that man meat
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
