It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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