Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
