erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
A bitchslap is in order.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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