So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
