My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
