it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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