My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
