And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
