I got chris browned last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
