my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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