things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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