would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
