my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
