dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
