He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
