Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
