i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
